Got RBF, maybe we can help?

RBF.  You know us, I know you do. You’ve looked at us and looked away. Sometimes you’re brave enough to ask if “we are ok”, but not always, for fear we will bite your head off.  We are the people who when just sitting quietly, look like we are madder than all get out and about to rip someone’s face off.

I’ve been told by many people before including strangers “smile”, “you look so much prettier when you smile”. Well duh, don’t most people.  I was born with this face.  It’s not my fault that the curves of my mouth go down when I’m not smiling.  

I wonder if there is a Resting Bitch Face “lift”? LOL.

There are moments my RBF works to my advantage.  For example, when walking through the perfume section of a department store during the holidays.  Now I know the sales associates are just doing their job, but as it is I can’t smell anything when walking through hundreds of scents. Shopping for a car or waiting in line to be assisted or cash out it has been somewhat useful.  Even if I’m totally chill, I’ve had associates make a point to tell me thanks for my patience, I attribute it to the RBF, I must look annoyed but seriously I have no idea.   

Now RBF is a chronic problem for the following situations: Dating and Work.  So, for dating if you are not smiling, guys will never approach or talk to you.  Basically, any situation where you meet people for the first time is like this, make the effort to smile if you have RBF.  For work same thing goes.  When I’m intently listening or thinking as I’m walking down the hall.  I’ve had people comment to others that “Chris must be having a bad day” or they think I’m disagreeing with or angry with something they said.  Usually not true in 99% of cases.  Of course, there are days where I’m having a bad day and don’t agree with you , but that’s a different face and you will know it.

Now with WFH (working from home) and all the video calling, it’s even more difficult. The focus is ONLY ON YOUR FACE.  Not gonna lie sometimes I turn my video off because I feel keeping the face under control is too hard on that particular day OR sometimes, I’m just finishing lunch (LOL).  I can now even see myself in the lower corner of the screen, so it makes me very self-conscious.  Maybe this is good practice for when I’m back in the real-world encountering people face to face again.     

On behalf of all women with RBF.  It’s not your fault.  Use it to your advantage when you can.  When you are in a situation where it doesn’t work to your advantage, take a WOMENT, breathe and “turn that frown upside down”.