Finding the Gift

Lessons Learned from a Pandemic

The past 4+ months have been nothing if not challenging.  As a society, we Americans are highly mobile. Being under house arrest doesn’t sit right with most of us, present company included!  Seeing as how I manage several autoimmune health issues, I was most assuredly on the Hit List.  And let’s not even go near the age thing!  How dare the CDC and the WHO and the State of California and the United States government classify me as elderly!!! Most of them have never even met me!!!  I still get carded… sometimes… never mind that sign stating, “We card everyone”.

I am blessed to have a dear friend who has helped me to face down some of the biggest slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.  She has always counselled me to look for the gift in every obstacle.  There are always a few to be found, pandemics, economic collapse and civil unrest notwithstanding.  Here are a few of the gifts that the Spring 2020 has bestowed upon me:

Although my dearly loved Zumba class has been suspended, I’ve been able to get my daily endorphin buzz from lengthy walks, appropriately masked and/or socially distanced. The sidewalks have become galleries for budding artists and their parents to create beautiful chalk drawings. Many include messages of hope and encouragement along with more than a few love letters!  One ambitious family created an entire life-size board game around their entire block!  I found myself taking a quick refresher course in hopscotch followed by the hokey pokey.

I’m learning how to see again.  No, I don’t have any significant problems with my vision, but in the course of a typically hectic schedule, I’d become blind to the wonder and magic all around me.  Gardens resplendent with color and fragrance; jacaranda trees in bloom, turning the sky purple; the smiles of strangers passing by, not to mention the opportunity to exchange waves with beautiful babies and children.  While sitting outside reading one recent afternoon, I looked up to see sunlight filtering through the trees in a way that made them look as if they were lit from within.  Just then a hummingbird appeared, darting from one blossom to another, followed by (I kid you not) a flock of butterflies!  I found myself looking around for the Seven Dwarfs! Every day we are surrounded by such breathtaking loveliness, if only we take the time to truly open our eyes!

Family and friends.  Yeah, yeah, we all talk about how precious they are to us, but I, for one, never really got it until now.  As Joni Mitchell so astutely points out, “You don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone”.  Not being able to jump in the car or board a plane for a visit, or even walk down the street to meet for lunch/coffee/adult beverages, in a word, sucks! Back in May we ventured out to pay a visit of sorts to one of our sons and his family.  One of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do was stay six feet away from all of them, complete with masks.  The kids did lift their masks to show us some newly fallen-out teeth as well as some newly grown-in ones, but not being able to give them hugs and kisses was torture!

I think all of us have gotten way more technologically resourceful.  Although I’m very grateful for Zoom and FaceTime virtual get-togethers, they just don’t compare to the real thing. I’m also making more phone calls rather than texting.  Hearing someone’s voice, having a real conversation is so much more soul-satisfying than the badminton match that is texting.  It’s also way easier on your thumbs!

Speaking of human connection, my husband has been my only direct human contact for going on 18 weeks. Talk about testing the mettle of a marriage!  During this time, I was laid off from my job and he was sent home from his to work remotely. Having missed the line for patience, he gets frustrated when he can’t just walk down the hall to address an issue with a colleague.  I hear about it! Lacking a certain amount of intestinal fortitude, I get weepy over a range of things from ruminating over all the reasons no one will ever hire me again, to missing our children and grandchildren, to running out of capers for the damned Chicken Piccata.  He hears about that!  Back in the days of our courtship when we fantasized about being alone together on a deserted island, somehow the #@&% unreturned phone call and the dearth of capers never factored into the picture!  

The gift in this overabundance of togetherness… unquestionably the most precious… is the confirmation that whether sailing on a cloud or trudging through hell, there is no one I would rather have by my side.  His lack of patience is born of perfectionism and a commitment to excellence.  While it sounds a bit corny, he is a man of honor.  I would trust him with my life… in fact, I already have.  And he makes me laugh more than anyone else I’ve ever known.  Not a bad thing when you’re quarantined!

I can’t speak for him, but I think he puts up with me because I’m a really good cook.  I’ll find a way to work around those bleepin’ capers… but first let me grab a tissue.

In closing, I wish you the opportunity to find the gifts in your life that make it truly meaningful.  I wish you and yours health, security and stability, and a good strong WiFi connection. That, and a vaccine!

Peace,

Daryl Kenny Callirgos

July 9, 2020