We all have moments when we throw out a great one-liner or analogy, some may be so creative that people have no idea what you are talking about.
The great thing about these sayings is that we picked them up from an influential person. Often times, they come from our grandparents, who then passed them on to our parents, next thing you know..the kids are repeating them..uh oh.
These infamous quotes are passed through generations of families. Depending on where you are from, some may be bizarre, confusing, or down-right wrong.
As many of you know, I’m a Mid-Westerner. People may have heard of some of these, or be completely baffled by them, but in honor of the creators, we are going to share some of the infamous quotes from our elders. I do have to say, my WOMENTS often times get tagged with some of these one-liners. So here we go….read at your own discretion.
Quotes referencing a full bladder.
- “My teeth are floating!” – Meaning: I have to pee, expressed with urgency.
- “I have to riss like a pace horse!” – Meaning: I really have to pee, also expressed with urgency.
Quotes referencing one’s nerves.
- “That will make you bark at the moon!” Meaning: Eating high doses of sugar like an idiot.
- “They would make jello nervous.” Meaning: Let’s just say, it’s pretty hard to make jello nervous.
- “Can’t be yippidy dippidy all the time.” Meaning: I’m having a slow day.
- “I feel like a trained squirrel!” Meaning: Chaotic emotional and physical state of one’s being, the actual definition of insanity…doing the same thing over and over and over again. You don’t see many squirrels taking their time with tasks, do you?
Quotes referencing one’s capability in a specific tasks and common sense.
- “Don’t know sh!# from applesauce!” Meaning: It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? Note: Applesauce is also interchangeable with Shinola or applebutter.
- “As worthless as tits on a boar.” Meaning:. A boar is a domestic male pig, enough said.
- “Don’t know enough to pour piss out of a boot!” Meaning: Hmmm, never quite understood this one, but it sure isn’t hard to figure out how to pour something out of a boot.
Quotes referencing a bad hair day.
- “Looks like a calf has been sucking on your hair.” Meaning: Anyone who knows cattle, knows their saliva is about like hair gel when it dries. Yeah, gross.
- “I look like a peeled fart.” Meaning: When the hair has nowhere to go but back in a very tight ponytail..all of it…every strand, often accompanied by no makeup.
Quotes referencing gas.
- “More room out than in.” Doesn’t get much more honest than that.
- “Barking spiders.” Meaning: I didn’t hear anything; it must have been a spider.
- “A skunk smells himself first.” Meaning: Smelt it, delt it.
- “It must be thunder.” Meaning: Once again, I didn’t hear anything; it must have been thunder.
- “Stepped on a frog!” Meaning: It was the frog’s fault.
Quotes at random
- “That kid is a little hemorrhoid!” Meaning: Well, just put it together, you got this one. Speaking of hemorrhoids….
- “That could give you buggy washers!” (pronounced warshers) Meaning: Be sure not the lift anything heavy. And…
- “A thousand chiggers are trying to eat their way out of my (fill in the blank)!” Meaning: A painful situation.
- “Looks like that one has been hatched out of an egg.” Meaning: This could be someone or something that looks a little weathered.
- “Smaller than a gnat’s eyelash.” Meaning: Pretty damn small.
- “If a chicken had lips, it could play the saxophone.” Meaning: The heck if I know.
- “Wilder than a peach orchard boar!” Meaning: Uh, it’s a little bit risqué.
- “I could just give a rats left testicle.” Meaning: I really don’t care.
- “Move that over just a frog hair.” Meaning: Does a frog have hair?
- “Dry as a popcorn fart.” Meaning: Pretty darn dry.
- “I’m so hungry I could eat the a$$ out of a dead horse.” Meaning: Pretty darn hungry.
- “Thicker than hair on a dogs back.” Meaning: Pretty darn thick.
- “Bassackwards.” Meaning: Unimaginably wrong and out of order.
- “Grinnin like a possum.” Meaning: Up to no good.
- “Mucklydung.” Meaning: Definition of a calico cat, but can also mean homely.
- “Do that again and I’ll stomp a mudhole up your (fill in the blank)!” Meaning: Don’t do that. And, last but not least….
- “Beezer.” (spell as you wish) noun, pronoun, adjective if it’s beezery. Example: Get your beezer over your plate and you won’t need a napkin. In this example, we are obviously referencing one’s mouth. A truly interchangeable and odd word.
Watch out, now that you know these, one may slip when you have a WOMENT.
